lisbet (aidenraine) wrote,

  • Mood:

That helped

I just came from a "Women in Academia" panel, and I really needed that I must say. The three women talked about how they balance family life with work life, how they deal(t) with kids, spouses/partners.

I know in my heart that I want to stay in academia, I just need to learn to cope better with how punishing it can be. It was nice to hear people talking openly about the things that most of the time it seems like we're supposed to hide- our struggles with taking jobs/relocating to go do fieldwork etc. I've felt really lost on those fronts.I mean, I'm acutely aware that part of being in a partnership is balancing someone else's needs with your own. For me, that means trying to cut down on how much I move j. around.

One of my professors was a panelist and she is in an "academic relationship". I've always thought that I couldn't do that, but she explained how she and her partner work it out- they'd managed to remain together until after their PhDs (having dated since they were 18). Then they both got jobs they really wanted to take- her in Chicago and he in Los Angeles. So, they decided that for them it was worth it to use their money to maintain two apartments and fly back and forth each weekend. She explained that she hardly brings anything because she really has everything she needs in both spaces, that she gets a ton done on airplanes, that she's so busy working on weekdays anyway that it's a relief not to necessarily have someone around.

She also explained that it wasn't something she wanted long term, but for a while it was fine, and that four other people, including her department chair were living the same way.
(Not implying that I'd ever want that, but it was interesting.)

Anyway, more on this later, maybe. My veggie dog is ready.
Tags: family, grad school, work

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