Then I thought- what if I woke up in the bed of some mean, fat, greasy man who abused dogs, and I was him?
Well, I'd rush those dogs to the nearest vet and probably cry all over them as I got them looked at.
I wouldn't want anyone at the vet's office to know I had done the abusing, so I'd lie and say I found them in crates behind someone else's house. And I'd cry, and they'd think: "What a sensitive big fat greasy man he is."
Then it occurred to me- if I woke up out of my body, abused dogs would be only one of my problems. I'd have to contact jhimm immediately!
So I'd call his cell phone.
What if it was disconnected because this is an alternate reality?
No, it wouldn't be.
So he picks up, and in a deep gruff voice I say "Jhimm, it's Liz! This is going to sound crazy, but I'm in a big man's body and I don't know where I am."
And jhimm would look across the living room to where my normal body was sitting in the rocking chair reading. He'd say: "Um, no, you're right here."
And I'd say: "NOOOO it's an imposter! You have to believe me!"
This is where I stopped the ADD train and told myself to keep reading, but y'know... as much as I love studying and school, I sometimes wonder if I oughtn't be, um, putting my habit of living in stories-in-my-head to better use.